Blathering Nonsense // I can't change even if I wanted to

Growing up, I was always an open-minded person.

I guess you could say that even though my parents left me wandering about this world of ours by myself I still think I'm pretty lucky because that helped me see it in a different way, in a way how I see people and how I critique them. I'm thinking of putting this section here as a ramble but it s not just any ramble, it's a post about me blathering because of a certain thing, either object, poem, song, movie.. or just stuff..

I introduce the "Blathering Nonsense"

This came from the song by Macklemore - Same Love where it reminded me of my past. I love how this song tackled not only Same Sex Marriage but Equality altogether. I was brought by my parents thinking everyone is equal, well not really. They're like all parents, you are the greatest one, the prettiest, the smartest. I don't detest them on that logic, that's their job! But what I did appreciate about how they raised me is that they respected me, not in a sense of sheltering or ever cowering but more of a sense of understanding that I am who I am. Sadly, society thinks otherwise. Growing up, I was bullied in my own country because of my skin color which goes to show racism does not have preferences. My skin-tone is paler compared to most Filipinos but I never thought of that as a privilege but more of a coincidence that God made my family's pigment a bit more sensitive than others. Again, society thinks otherwise. 

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

People say I'm pretty, people say I have grace

that I have the upper hand in society

because of my color, my pigment, my face

I told them they were wrong, they didn't believe me

So listen up to my story

Ever since I was in 3rd grade, I thought that we're all the same

Same color, same people, same races, same grade

But all of the sudden I was shunned by society in which I now hate 

Cause' being pushed into a corner, bullying and calling names isn't great

Racism comes in any forms but overall it is evil

Whether color, sex or race, in the end, we're all in peril

Because society molded me young I thought I was safe

But I guess that doesn't happen, we are but a slave 

Slave without knowing, Swimming but were drowning

In this ocean full of lies and preconception

That life should be this should be that

Can I just live my life?

I can't change even if I tried, even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love, my love

He keeps me warm

My friends back home keep talking behind my back

even here in the US, its the same characteristic

I can't keep friends because of the same act

That they all hate the way I look cause' it's so antagonistic

I admit I look different, I admit my status is unbent

but my views are diverse and that's all that matters

But I was still bullied, called names 

They thought they're all masters

I was pushed around by my so-called friends when I was young

Called that I'm only noticed because of my color

What is this oppression? I'd rather be hung

Society made the worst of me with their eyes like a vulture

Misled by words, by people Playing God.

I can't change even if I tried, even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love, my love

He keeps me warm

I ran away from it all 

From my friends, my family knowing I was gonna fall

Started on a new leaf hoping for acceptance 

From people who will give me the right entrance 

To equality that I always dreamed of

Ya'll thought it was my race, ya'll thought it was my sex 

Being Asian isn't special we are all just the same

Society will not change until we change the game

I met the love of my life and he is great

Innocent from all yet mature enough to fight hate

Without him I thought I was gonna die

Sadly I meant literally but those words all of them I ate

When I met a different person who can love and not break

and join all the others who float along to blend in 

the culture bonded by oppression

all the same believes and same expression

I can't change even if I tried, even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love, my love

He keeps me warm

Right now I'm still fighting 

this war we don't even know who started

To live a life of good direction

one that's solid and kind-hearted

With him, I know I'll keep going and will not look back

Because wanting acceptance from others is nothing but a crack

from this world that we live in, you all must know 

We should just press play and go, go, go

For now I end this poem, knowing that it's mediocre

But I poured my whole self in it; mind, body and soul

Just think of me a the Joker

Who just wants to have fun 

like when he told Dent that he never had any plans

just a dog chasing cars.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

I guess my poem sucks but I really can't express my past in a sense where I'm not offending anyone. Society thinks that because I'm fair-skinned I have never experienced criticism. Kids my age while growing up often hate me, they say things such as "You're only pretty cause' you're light skinned", "She's actually very ugly, it's just her color", "Watch out! She might blind you" or even "You're too light, you don't belong here". I guess now you could say that I made it up or so but color never did matter when it comes to lowering a 9-year old's self-esteem.

In the end, we need to make a change. I don't see why we need to have more kids feel this pain and we sit silent not thinking that WORDS HURT MORE THAN ACTIONS because wounds heal but words... stay.

THANKS FOR TUNING IN~

φ(◎◎へ）